Excerpts

From Volume 8: Ropes to God: Experiencing the Bushman Spiritual Universe

The Bushman Spiritual Universe as told by Bo, a Bushman doctor

N/om: The Big Power from the Big God

Little has changed about our dance and what we know about the Big God. What I know is the same as what my father and grandfather, as well as their ancestors, knew long ago. We sing the same songs, dance the same dance, and see the same God as we did since the beginning of man. This is how it was for the first Bushmen. Since we were the first people, the Big God felt the closest to us. He gave us the gifts we are going to tell you about. It was his way of giving us his love.

In the beginning, people and animals were not separated. All living creatures could communicate with one another. When we think about the first people we often imagine them as having animal heads or feet on human bodies. This shows that the first people were one with all the animals. When a strong doctor gets the big power, what we call n/om tcxai or djxani tcxai, he or she can see those ancestors and sometimes feel united with them. The dance, called n/om tcxai, keeps us connected to the beginning of our culture. It keeps us in direct touch with the earliest Bushmen ancestors.

We dance for many reasons. We dance because it is fun. We also dance because it makes us feel better about each other. It fills our hearts with happiness and takes away any bad feelings we might have for another person. Dancing keeps us healthy. In the hands of a Bushman doctor, our sickness may be taken away and our life revitalized. In the dance, special experiences can happen for the doctor. He or she may even see the Big God. This is why the dance is our greatest treasure and mystery.

There is a power that comes from the Big God. It starts with his love for all things. His love is so strong that it can knock you out. This power is in all of life, but it can be concentrated and given to a human being. God can give such concentrated power directly to a human being and make him or her a doctor and, in turn, a strong doctor who has the power can serve as an intermediary and give it to someone else. When a person gets this power directly from the Big God, without the assistance of another human being, it is extremely powerful. These are the most powerful doctors. When you receive it this way, it may throw you to the ground as if you were struck by lightning. In addition, you may see a big light and be shown how you will help others.

In whatever way the Big God touches you, it is assured that you will feel a power or electricity come into your body. It will feel tight and often hot in your belly and cause you to tremble, shake, and jerk. This is the way it is. It has always been this way. The power is so strong that it usually makes you shout or scream a special sound. It can overcome you.

Most Bushmen are scared of the big power that comes from the Big God. When they feel it twitch their body or make them dizzy, they often try to run away from it. That's why you see the young men running all over the place when they get touched by the power in a dance. And some of the women and men run when they think a highly charged medicine man wants to transfer his power. They are scared and somewhat resistant and unwilling to let it overtake them.

It is possible to learn how to be comfortable with this power and allow your body to feel natural with it. This is what characterizes a strong doctor, sometimes called n/om kxao ("owner of supernatural power" or "owner of medicine"). After years of dancing and allowing the power to come into the body, such a person becomes more skilled in handling it.

I received the power directly from the Big God when I was a young man. I felt a heat in my belly and at the bottom of my back that slowly came up my spine and right out of the top of my head. When I looked up, I saw a white light. Inside this light I saw the ancestors and the Big God. They taught me things about healing and the spiritual universe. It took place with no words. It was communicated more by feelings and direct knowing. My body trembled and I was so overcome with emotion that I wept. Ever since that nightlong experience took place, I always have been able to feel the power inside of me and to use it to touch others.

Anthropologist Richard Lee reports that he once attempted to enter kia (or !aia which refers to a state of consciousness induced by n/om) and found that he experienced 'an acute fear of loss of control.' (Lee, 1993, p. 117) Trance medicine really hurts! As you begin to trance, the n/um (spiritual power) slowly heats inside you and pulls at you. It rises until it grabs your insides and takes your thoughts away. Your mind and your senses leave and you don't think clearly. Things become strange and start to change. You can't listen to people or understand what they say. You look at them and they suddenly become very tiny. You think, 'What's happening? Is God doing this?' All that is inside you is the n/um; that is all you can feel. — N/isa, a Ju/'hoan woman and healer. (M. Shostak in Lee and DeVore, eds, 1976, p. 299)

After a good dance, I go to my home and fall asleep. The power is so strong in me that I may travel during my dreams. That may be the time when I see the ropes of light and go up to the sky. Dreams (cunkuri) that take place after a strong dance often bring good teaching. We doctors look forward to the dreams that come after a dance. The dance makes you ready to have big dreams of the ancestors and the Big God.

For it is the sorcerer's custom to walk at night; he lies asleep by us, his magic walks about, while we sleep there. (Bleek, 1935, pp. 30-31)

We believe that the dance is for everyone. We are not the only ones who can dance and see the ropes to the Big God. We do not understand why the people who come to study us do not have these experiences. We want them to know God. They cannot understand us unless they know how we experience the Big God. It is the most important part of our lives. The ropes and chains to the Big God make our lives worth living. We live to dance. It is our prayer and our tracks to the longed for relatives who have gone on.

Kgao Temi, Bushman doctor:

When we dance, we sometimes travel underneath the ground. There's a line that goes to the sky and a line that goes under the earth. The lines are thin. One line takes you to the Big God and the other line brings you back. When you're up in the sky, you can see the line below you. Some lines go up and then angle into another direction. There is also a line over the ground that goes to many places.

When we dance, the fire helps you get enough power to see the lines. When you get that power, you feel like your body disappears. The people who sit around the fire can touch your body, but you're not there. You disappear, while your body remains behind. It feels like you float up to the sky. When you are coming down from the sky, the line can take you to the ground and then underneath the ground. When you come down, your stomach muscles and chest get tighter. When you feel that tightness, you turn and change direction. The people from the past may come and take you. They teach you things and give you more power. They actually talk to you. They tell you about the dance. They also teach you about the plants.

When you first bend over in the dance and go toward the fire, you will be challenged by the evil spirits. At that time the fire is the place of evil. You must say "no" to it. God says, "Don't go in" when we see that fire. That's when I turn and go another direction. My body then tightens again and I start seeing my close relatives from the past. They are the ones who talk to you and teach you. They give you songs, show you dances, and give you the names of the dances and where they come from like giraffe, eland, buffalo, and springbok dances. After that I may go underneath the earth. While I'm underground, I see the people who have been teaching me. They are there to help me. When I'm underground they show me how to keep the evil ones from stealing my power. When I'm through traveling underground, I come up.

The evil spirits of the dead can make us sick. They do it by stealing our power. They sneak into our lives along a path, steal our power, and run back to their fire. You can smell when someone's power has been taken. A medicine man must go to the spirit people from the past, the good ancestors, and ask them for help. You must sincerely ask them to help you get back someone's power. Every once in a while, they say, "We can't help." That means the person probably won't get well. But usually they are able to help.

Women Bushman Doctors of Namibia Speak Texae ?Toma, elder woman doctor from Xaoxa:

Some of the women doctors have the power and we feel the same things as the men doctors. This power is like a fire. Usually someone must put the fire into your body. A few people receive the power from the Big God while others receive it from another person. I received it from my mother.

When the power comes into the dance we feel it come into our hands when we clap. We feel something in our hands and in our bodies. We can receive the power as we sit around the fire while singing and clapping. The power in the dance can make us feel good. If we feel sick and start dancing, we don't feel bad. In the power of the dance, you don't feel any pain. We love the dances. We always wish that we had more dances. We would like to dance every night, but it's the men who don't want to dance as much as us. They are lazy.

I am now old and when I dance it is so strong that I fall down. My mother taught me how to move my arms during the dance. She showed me that there is a way of moving them that helps the power get stronger. She told me that I must always use the dance to keep myself well and that I must help other people who are sick.

When I was young there were many women doctors. They would give me their power during our dances. They would touch me and shake me. They would rub their sweat on my body. The sweat is very important. It has power. It is from the heat inside the body caused by the boiling nails.

Every time I dance, I see the lines of light. When I first saw the lines, I saw the ancestors from the past. They took me to another place. They told me how I must sing and taught me how to dance. I also see the lines in my dreams. They are made of thin white lines and they sometimes look like a spider's web.1 There's also a line that's red with white dots. It's the one that goes over the ground at about knee height. The white line comes from the sky. It gives you magic songs. The red lines with white dots are the evil lines.

[The lower god] moves from the sky to the ground and across the veld on invisible fibers which criss-cross the surface of the veld like a vast spider's web.
— Bushman Doctor, (Guenther, 1986, p.129)

In the dance, my mother can bring me a message. She continues teaching me. Sometimes my mother tells another woman something that she wants me to know. So my friends bring me messages from my mother. My mother brings me magic songs. There is a difference between the magic of a woman and the magic of a man. Our songs are different. Our shaking is the same, but our songs differ. The way we dance is also different. We usually just stand and shake. When the power is on a woman she might just stand and shake without dancing. But sometimes we dance.

We get our magic from the plant roots. That is why we stand in our dances like the roots in the ground. Our magic comes directly from the Big God. We also get the power from our mothers. The giraffe medicine also comes from the Big God. That is what our men practice.

When a doctor goes to get back the stolen arrows from the evil ones, he or she changes into something else. We can become an animal or the wind. It helps us steal back the missing things that have been taken away. My mother taught me how to change (thuru). My mother changed into other animals.

Tcqoe !ui:

The women's medicine can be stronger than the men's. Some of the men doctors are scared of our medicine. It has always been that way.

When you get very strong in the dance, you find that you can no longer talk. You can only shout. You shout to come back. It hurts to come back. The screams of a doctor mean that a doctor is trying to return from the spirit world.

When I am in the dance, I can see many generations of my ancestors. They all look like we do except for the first generations. The first people look different. Giraffe people are the first people. Their skin looks like that of a giraffe and they have a human face. The second generation people have eland faces and feet. The third generation people look like oryx.

When we go on a hunt, you will feel a tapping on your body. You normally feel it on your arm at the place where you pull back the arrow. That feeling comes from the Big God who is getting your arm ready.

We have never heard of any Bushman who talks about our familial ancestors as causing illness. All Bushmen know that our closest ancestors only help us. They love us. However, the enemies from the past remain enemies when they die. Their spirits try to hurt us. We must shout at them to make them go away.

We women, like the men, go up the rope and visit the village in the sky. We then bring the village down to the earth, placing it over the dance. When this happens, it is the best feeling you can have.

!ae Komtsa, woman doctor and wife of Cgunta /kace:

I am scared of getting stronger in the dance. I don't want any more power because it is hard on me. My stomach gets so tight that it hurts. I have seen all the ropes and have traveled on them. Sometimes when I go up the rope, I feel upside down. My feet feel like they are in the sky and my head on the ground. When I go up the rope, I usually see my mother. She talks to me. I once went up and saw my mother cooking flies. She asked me if I wanted to eat them and I said, 'No, I don't eat those things.'

When you get a lot of power in the dance, everyone looks short. Sometimes when I go up the rope, I see my daughter as she was when she was a baby. When you get a lot of power, you can go up the rope and see your child, even though your child is still alive. When I go up the rope, it is hard to come back. You have to shout to get back. My daughter is becoming a doctor. She is being taught by two of the elder doctors.